My Diary: The Face In The Cage Has Managed To Escape

Gerald's Rather Strange Diary

The day was as hot as a decomposing fruit and I had to pluck myself from the sleep tree and dress in clothes made from running water.‭ ‬Before asking the dog for a dance I asked the Sphinx a riddle it couldn’t answer and then left the house with half as many legs as a millipede‭; ‬I came back with a fruit bowl on my head and twice as many legs as a centipede‭ (‬the dog had of course caterpillar tracks instead of legs and was able to traverse rough terrain with ease‭)‬.‭ ‬I made a superhero cape from a cup of tea and then turned my childhood memories into an ornate birdcage‭; ‬I couldn’t see the bird but its song drifted down the street like sonic smog‭ ‬-‭ ‬thankfully none of the neighbours complained although the one I call the universal cowboy dismounted from his camel and kicked a…

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An example of what i deal with day to day..

I got in to work early today. We have flexi time, so by getting in early this means i can leave early (win win) !

I got in, blinds up, computer on, printer on, franking machine on after all that hard work.. time for a cuppa. I go downstairs, wash up my mug, put the kettle on, fill up my glass with water. Now, the law should be that whenever you have a cuppa, you have to have atleast 3+ biscuits, on opening the biscuit tin, the terrible discovery is made… all that remains are old, broken, stale shortbread fingers and “nice” biscuits in the bottom … the horror!!

I feel that i can take it upon my self, to make the executive decision to throw these away.. i’m twenty.something?! I can do this! I don’t need to ask permission?…

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